The Conclusion is that there is no Conclusion

I guess you could say this project started with a pair of boots. 

One day in Grade 9 I put my dad's old air force boots on for fun and then I pretty much never took them off. They became somewhat of a novelty.

People have borrowed them to look "alternative", to look cool, and to look like what society apparently doesn't find beautiful or feminine. Countless people in my art class have drawn them, some refusing to believe me when I say I actually wear them, and when I bring them to school, my teachers ask me if it's for drama class. 

People started saying things. "You can't wear boots like that with a pretty dress!" "I love your outfit, all you need now are a nice pair of pretty pumps." "You look like a mine-worker!". 

The second thing that inspired me to do this project was a comment made by someone I know. We were watching TV when a tattooed girl came on screen. "She could be so pretty! It's just the tattoos that ruin it...". And that got me thinking. 

The offending specimen

Danielle Colby-Cushman from American Pickers

I guess I don't really know what I think beauty is. All I know is that no-one should be considered any less beautiful because of dressing to please themselves. I don't believe the girl who decides to wear Doc Martens should be any less beautiful than the girl who wears heels, and I don't believe that looking different equals looking ugly. 

Someone said to me, during this project, that "having holes in your face and wearing creepy clothes is not beautiful. it has nothing to do with society's beliefs; it's not beautiful because it's unnatural. even little babies, who haven't had time to be shaped by society, cringe at the sight of people who wear creepy make-up and have a gazillion holes in their faces. they cringe (or cry) because those people look scary - not because they don't fit in with society" http://beautyandconformity.blogspot.com/p/contact-maybe.html. I was pleased that I got at least one negative comment. It gave me an idea what the worst people would be thinking. 

Do you think alternative people are unnatural? How is dying your hair purple any more unnatural than dying your hair blonde? How is piercing your face any more unnatural than piercing your ears or your belly-button? Babies are born with the inherent ability to tell what is natural and unnatural? No. If a baby were brought up in a home where everyone had "a gazillion holes in their faces", it would think nothing of their appearances. Don't be silly. 

I guess, though, that there are always going to be people who think like that. There isn't any answer really, and there isn't really a conclusion either.

As long as there are people, there will always be conformity, and as long as there is conformity, there will always be a clearly defined "IS" and a clearly defined "ISN'T". So as long as there are people that are and people that are not, there will always be "beautiful" and there will always be "ugly". 

That is all.

Uninteresting Musings

I have noticed something, while undertaking this project... It is an opinion I haven't quite solidified in my head, but I'll try to explain it in pieces.

In the beginning, while I was planning everything out in my head, I had expected this week to be incredibly painful. It has been painful, it has been embarassing, and it has been tiring, but it hasn't been anything as bad as what I had imagined.

Today, I'm afraid I cheated a bit. After going to those second hand shops and that art exhibition, I came home, put on a vintage dress, and went to a braai. On the way there, I stopped off at a shop to buy meat and other assorted condiments, and I of course passed the paths of a number of people, many of them young girls.

Suddenly the difference between them and I was so much more obvious to me than it had been this week, or even last week, and I suddenly realized a flaw in my plan.

Appearances are things, essentially. Your changeable, malleable, perennial appearance, like the clothes and make-up you wear, how you do your hair, whether you choose to tan or not, are peices of a mask (I know that sounds melodramatic, but bear with me) you put together, and this is the face you choose to show to the outside world. Yes, it is something you can change, and it is something you can turn on and off, but it is also a part of you, and your identity that is linked to you, even if only slightly.

The reason I felt the difference so much more strongly tonight rather than on any of the other days of my experiment was because tonight, I was wearing my identity, and that highlighted all the more strongly theirs. In my various disguises, I have felt disconnected from my appearance. It's a sign board held away from my body, only for the benefit of society to see, nothing I've worn has really felt like a part of me.

Until tonight.

Maybe people's reactions have been what they have been because they are wearing their identities. Maybe it's a good thing I've been wearing disguises and not my identity. I think if I had been wearing my identity, and asking people what they thought of me like that, I wouldn't have survived the judgements I've been getting.

It's just a make-shift thought.

Make of it what you will.