Play-Play

So last term's theme was "Play", and it seems my mind is still stuck on the beauty and conformity idea. After doing a photo shoot with my younger sister again (who, mind you, was 12 years old at the time) I edited her photos and turned one into a magazine cover and the other into a magazine spread. My tonal drawing was also based on a photo of her. 

This piece was more focused on 'fake' girls, rather than mainstream girls. 

Dreams and other Oddities

So I theme for this term was "The Unconscious Mind: Dreams and Other Oddities". I had quite a lot of fun with this one (though of course not as much fun as last term), and learnt a few new tricks in Photoshop.

I'll be heading off tomorrow to traipse some thrift stores in search of appropriate frames, but for now, here are the pictures as is. 

They were inspired by a dream I had once where I woke up one morning and my family had spontaneously turned into animals. I guess, though, that they also represent peoples' unconscious animal instincts, as civil as we consider ourselves to be.

A) KZNSA Gallery

This gallery was established 108 years ago, and is now the premier contemporary art gallery in Durban, and the province. However, a lot of young people don't pay it much attention.

Recently, an exhibition was held by local Durban artist, alias "Skullboy", called You&Me: A Series of First Times (formerly called Cherry Poppin'). Last year, Skullboy collected people's accounts of how they lost their virginity by placing forms and drop boxes in bathrooms and clubs, targeting the alternative crowd most likely to frequent them. Then he made art about it. I thought it was pretty dang awesome.

Its purpose is described as such: "The aim of this exercise is two-fold. Firstly, to capture a glimpse into the reality of the state and practice of sex in our modern day society. Secondly, to create a healthy dialogue about sex in reality without the baggage of religion, media, television and moral decorum. Through the accounts of others and the re-telling of our own stories, we realise the similarities between us and our peers. Through this communal discussion, we destroy the unrealistic expectations of sex set by society and ourselves and strip such a significant event of any shame, pressure or sense of failure and accept the event for what it was, whether good or bad."

Here are some pictures from the opening (courtesy of KZNSA)

A closer look (click to enlarge)

 
               

Check out You&Me's tumblr page:  http://youandmeproject.tumblr.com/
And Skullboy's blog: http://houseofskullboy.tumblr.com

The Secret Guide to Alternative Durban

For a lot of young people in Durban, their scope of Durban mainly includes what advertisers want people to think Durban is like - sun, sea and surf, I guess. And recently I've gotten tired of people telling me "There's nothing cool to do in Durban anymore". 

So the purpose of these next few posts is to document a few of the more alternative places and things you can do in Durban - and hopefully expose an alternative underbelly of Durban that some people might never have known about before. I will attempt to (with help from some friends) document my favorite second-hand shops, book stores, flea markets, coffee shops, cafes, art galleries and music halls. 

N.B: the name of this post was stolen from something Zoetica Ebb is doing at Zoetica's Biorequiem 

Becoming the Stereotype

It's finally over with, sadly and happily enough. I hope you enjoy it.


Please keep in mind that I am not a professional film maker, and this is my first attempt at anything like this. There will be flaws and there will be parts that can be better, but this is a result of passion and weeks of hard work, so please don't be too harsh on me. I know I have a long way to go. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIoDWLySCk

The Conclusion is that there is no Conclusion

I guess you could say this project started with a pair of boots. 

One day in Grade 9 I put my dad's old air force boots on for fun and then I pretty much never took them off. They became somewhat of a novelty.

People have borrowed them to look "alternative", to look cool, and to look like what society apparently doesn't find beautiful or feminine. Countless people in my art class have drawn them, some refusing to believe me when I say I actually wear them, and when I bring them to school, my teachers ask me if it's for drama class. 

People started saying things. "You can't wear boots like that with a pretty dress!" "I love your outfit, all you need now are a nice pair of pretty pumps." "You look like a mine-worker!". 

The second thing that inspired me to do this project was a comment made by someone I know. We were watching TV when a tattooed girl came on screen. "She could be so pretty! It's just the tattoos that ruin it...". And that got me thinking. 

The offending specimen

Danielle Colby-Cushman from American Pickers

I guess I don't really know what I think beauty is. All I know is that no-one should be considered any less beautiful because of dressing to please themselves. I don't believe the girl who decides to wear Doc Martens should be any less beautiful than the girl who wears heels, and I don't believe that looking different equals looking ugly. 

Someone said to me, during this project, that "having holes in your face and wearing creepy clothes is not beautiful. it has nothing to do with society's beliefs; it's not beautiful because it's unnatural. even little babies, who haven't had time to be shaped by society, cringe at the sight of people who wear creepy make-up and have a gazillion holes in their faces. they cringe (or cry) because those people look scary - not because they don't fit in with society" http://beautyandconformity.blogspot.com/p/contact-maybe.html. I was pleased that I got at least one negative comment. It gave me an idea what the worst people would be thinking. 

Do you think alternative people are unnatural? How is dying your hair purple any more unnatural than dying your hair blonde? How is piercing your face any more unnatural than piercing your ears or your belly-button? Babies are born with the inherent ability to tell what is natural and unnatural? No. If a baby were brought up in a home where everyone had "a gazillion holes in their faces", it would think nothing of their appearances. Don't be silly. 

I guess, though, that there are always going to be people who think like that. There isn't any answer really, and there isn't really a conclusion either.

As long as there are people, there will always be conformity, and as long as there is conformity, there will always be a clearly defined "IS" and a clearly defined "ISN'T". So as long as there are people that are and people that are not, there will always be "beautiful" and there will always be "ugly". 

That is all.

SIX (or, Yeah, my Deep Etching Sucks)

So the final day of this experiment is finally over - I'm excited to be back to my normal self. I went to church last night looking like this, which spark a perfect set of reactions.

As soon as I walked in I was greeted with a chorus of "You look so pretty!"s, and "Oh my gosh!"s. My friends from church don't know me, or nonconformity, as well as my school and other various location friends, so they were a perfect tester group for reactions, because they could judge my appearance without linking it to my character.

1) A well-meaning generic-aged woman told me "You look glamorous tonight!" and when I began explaining it was for art and that it wasn't permanent she nodded enthusiastically and drowned my words with a few "Lovely! You look lovely!"s.

2) A friend of mine said that although I was wearing a lot of make-up, it looked very pretty, and that I should do it more often.

3) Someone else said they prefer this girly look on me that my usual look, and definitely preferred it to my look last week.

4) When asked what my person thought about my look, he replied, "It's not that I don't like the girly-girl, but I'd rather have the Courtney girl". Which is nice, but also irrelevant.

Now it's time to kick back and get this documentary done. This won't be my last post, though, so stay tuned (that sounded terribly cliche, didn't it?).

FIVE

It's almost the end of this tiring week, and I spent my second to last day at yet another semi-cultured location - the I <3 Market. It is a lovely place, but it seems to have evolved into one very large ridiculously expensive vintage clothing store. I saw a pair of brothel creepers I would've sold my soul for, but they too were ridiculously expensive.

Again, I recieved somewhat strange and resentful looks from the cultured crowd. Another interesting observation: alternative males pay little to no attention to mainstream girls, which is expected but still a little irritating.

I can't wait to get out of these fussy clothes. And to feel my face again once all this dreaded foundation is eradicated.

Uninteresting Musings

I have noticed something, while undertaking this project... It is an opinion I haven't quite solidified in my head, but I'll try to explain it in pieces.

In the beginning, while I was planning everything out in my head, I had expected this week to be incredibly painful. It has been painful, it has been embarassing, and it has been tiring, but it hasn't been anything as bad as what I had imagined.

Today, I'm afraid I cheated a bit. After going to those second hand shops and that art exhibition, I came home, put on a vintage dress, and went to a braai. On the way there, I stopped off at a shop to buy meat and other assorted condiments, and I of course passed the paths of a number of people, many of them young girls.

Suddenly the difference between them and I was so much more obvious to me than it had been this week, or even last week, and I suddenly realized a flaw in my plan.

Appearances are things, essentially. Your changeable, malleable, perennial appearance, like the clothes and make-up you wear, how you do your hair, whether you choose to tan or not, are peices of a mask (I know that sounds melodramatic, but bear with me) you put together, and this is the face you choose to show to the outside world. Yes, it is something you can change, and it is something you can turn on and off, but it is also a part of you, and your identity that is linked to you, even if only slightly.

The reason I felt the difference so much more strongly tonight rather than on any of the other days of my experiment was because tonight, I was wearing my identity, and that highlighted all the more strongly theirs. In my various disguises, I have felt disconnected from my appearance. It's a sign board held away from my body, only for the benefit of society to see, nothing I've worn has really felt like a part of me.

Until tonight.

Maybe people's reactions have been what they have been because they are wearing their identities. Maybe it's a good thing I've been wearing disguises and not my identity. I think if I had been wearing my identity, and asking people what they thought of me like that, I wouldn't have survived the judgements I've been getting.

It's just a make-shift thought.

Make of it what you will.

FOUR

I'm getting used to this, I guess. It doesn't make it any less strange when I go to
cultured, artsy places like The Factory Cafe at Colombo Fine Beverages Co. for a photographic art exhibition and some amazing coffee. I also went to a second-hand clothing, bookshop and White Elephant store, where I found the most amazing vintage dresses and a few beautiful cups and saucers.

Going to alternative places dressed mainstream feels worse than going to mainstream places dressed alternative. I believe your appearance can be something of a billboard that broadcasts to people your interests or beliefs. Not always, but the potential's there. I've noticed alternative people make use of that quite often. So of course, being in a place where I would like to use my appearance to broadcast my alternative interests to people who hopefully share those interests, it was embarassing to broadcast, instead, conformity and a love for the mainstream. Or perhaps not something that extreme, but I do think I looked a bit boring, and being in a place full of people who look interesting, it made me feel lame.
I'll say this because I've been on the other side of the prejudice, but alternative people seem to either express interest or dislike for people who look like I do this week. (These are the comments I've imagined in my head) "What are you doing at an art exhibition? Mainstream girls can't be interested in art." "Why are you buying a vintage dress? It's not like you'd ever wear it."

For anyone interested, Colombo Fine Beverages Co. is on Gale Street and is one of the most amazing coffee places you will ever come across. Try them. I dare you.

THREE

This is definitely a new experience for me. I'm really not used to dressing like this at all. I'm a bit of a hipster, usually, but mostly I just dress in a way that makes me feel happy. I usually take about 20 minutes to get ready and do my hair and make-up, at the most, but these days, getting ready to go out takes about an hour and a half, which is valuable time that could be spent reading or watching anime. I've also never left the house with a full face of make-up on before. I'm wearing so much foundation that I'm scared my face will crack if I smile too widely, and I'm wearing glitter on my lips. And my eyes. There's even glitter in my moisturizer.

I went to Pavilion today, which I thought would be embarrassing because I would see a lot of people I know there, but it turned out to be quite uneventful, except for a few wayward looks from the occasional boy and plenty of dirty looks from other girls. A particularly dirty look from a lovely rebel in black lipstick, ripped tights and an obscure band t-shirt.

As soon as I stepped out the car, pink lipstick and lip gloss applied, I ran into a group of boys smoking outside the skate park, which made me want to run away and hide but I gritted my teeth and made my way through. I’m finding it harder each day to go out in public like this.

It's not so much the actual look as it is the feeling that I'm misrepresenting myself. It just makes me feel like a fake. I hate feeling fake.

                             

TWO

The beach again for day two. Today was kinda fun though, as I replaced my false nails with pink nailpolish and high heels with tommy takkies. I also, however, replaced my normal one-piece with a Billabong bikini. Let it be noted that until this day I had never worn a bikini in my life.

I must have really looked the part, with my top knot, pink headband, pink nails and bikini, tanning and fiddling on "my" Blackberry.

Attention today was minimal, understandably, as I blended in fairly well. They seem to suspect nothing. I noticed a slight increase in male looks. Females, however, are still giving me dirty looks. I think I very much prefer the amusement and disgust of last week than these belittling, sizing-up glances I've been getting all day. I'd rather be too alien for them to relate to than almost-just-but-not-really-the-prettiest.

Another friend I saw today, however, reacted with a mix of shock and horror. "It just keeps  getting worse," she said, as I pulled a pink floral towel and a pink Blackberry cover out of my bag. My person begrudging slathered me with sun block. And agreed to be seen with me. The only part he liked was the bikini.

   

ONE

Today was my first day in my mainstream look. I tried to dye my hair blonde yesterday but my natural colour is too dark so it just came out kind of yellow-ish at the roots. I also put on some fake nails this morning and then picked them off, one by one, because false nails are the most hideous things in the universe and are an invention of Satan.

I went to The Collective, Ike's Bookshop, a little second-hand place called Nuggets and Gems and Wakaberry today with a friend, who laughed at me for approximately five minutes before she recovered herself and said "you look irritating". My family are also cooing over me at every opportunity telling me how pretty I look. I've been getting some attention today, obviously not as much as last week, but it's still there. Funny enough, I'm still getting mostly dirty looks from girls, and of course, a lot more male attention. A girl had to smack her boyfriend today when he looked at me as I walked past.

Also, I have stumbled upon a theory. I think the reason "preppy", or girly girls are always so irritable and catty is because when you're wearing the Pretty Disguise, everything is irritating.

- The wind irritates you because it messes your hair that you've spent at least half an hour washing, blow drying, straightening and styling.

- Your hair irritates you because it keeps getting caught in your lip gloss.

- Your lip gloss irritates you because you have to re-apply it every time you eat or drink.

- Food irritates you because it can possibly get on your carefully chosen clothes.

- Your clothes irritate you because you have to constantly worry that they are in place, that they are not too tight, that your barely-there skirt is not riding up.

- Your feet irritate you because they've been painfully shoved into high heels.

- Your bangles irritate you because of that stupid sound they're constantly making.

No wonder those girls always look so grumpy.



SIX

Today was the last day of alternative experiment, sadly. I think I should feel relieved, but when I think about the coming week... not so much. It was a fairly subdued look today, sans piercings (because I finally lost them) and with punk influences again, also a little bit of metal fashion with the waistcoat featuring some of my favourite band (Nirvana, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Ramones) badges.

I went on a family fishing expedition with my person's family, and bought some socks (see their cameo in the pictures). I also had to touch a dead baby squid.

Also, I went to church with this look. It didn't provide much result, probably because they're used to me wearing strange clothing. I'd love to be able to say this is my band, but it's actually just the worship band I sing with occasionally.

FIVE

Day Five is my second to last day of alternative fashion, and one of the best. It was most certainly goth, and luckily everyone I spoke to was able to identify that.

I wasn't that out of place though, in the midst of a friend's Mad Hatter's Tea Party. I spent the day speaking to smart and/or interesting people, and interviewed most of them, as well as other miscellaneous park-goers in Botanical Gardens.

1) A little girl told me that if she had to give me a rating out of ten, she would give me a five.

2) A random hipster (beer in hand) commented that parts of me were attractive but others were not. He said if I was trying to go for a sexy look I shouldn't wear the boots that I was, and should try to go for more mainstream make-up.

3) Something one of my friends said, which I really liked, though it is sad, is

"Beauty doesn't really exist anymore. It's all conformity. And even when you are beautiful, you still aren't really beautiful enough."