Becoming the Stereotype

It's finally over with, sadly and happily enough. I hope you enjoy it.


Please keep in mind that I am not a professional film maker, and this is my first attempt at anything like this. There will be flaws and there will be parts that can be better, but this is a result of passion and weeks of hard work, so please don't be too harsh on me. I know I have a long way to go. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIoDWLySCk

The Conclusion is that there is no Conclusion

I guess you could say this project started with a pair of boots. 

One day in Grade 9 I put my dad's old air force boots on for fun and then I pretty much never took them off. They became somewhat of a novelty.

People have borrowed them to look "alternative", to look cool, and to look like what society apparently doesn't find beautiful or feminine. Countless people in my art class have drawn them, some refusing to believe me when I say I actually wear them, and when I bring them to school, my teachers ask me if it's for drama class. 

People started saying things. "You can't wear boots like that with a pretty dress!" "I love your outfit, all you need now are a nice pair of pretty pumps." "You look like a mine-worker!". 

The second thing that inspired me to do this project was a comment made by someone I know. We were watching TV when a tattooed girl came on screen. "She could be so pretty! It's just the tattoos that ruin it...". And that got me thinking. 

The offending specimen

Danielle Colby-Cushman from American Pickers

I guess I don't really know what I think beauty is. All I know is that no-one should be considered any less beautiful because of dressing to please themselves. I don't believe the girl who decides to wear Doc Martens should be any less beautiful than the girl who wears heels, and I don't believe that looking different equals looking ugly. 

Someone said to me, during this project, that "having holes in your face and wearing creepy clothes is not beautiful. it has nothing to do with society's beliefs; it's not beautiful because it's unnatural. even little babies, who haven't had time to be shaped by society, cringe at the sight of people who wear creepy make-up and have a gazillion holes in their faces. they cringe (or cry) because those people look scary - not because they don't fit in with society" http://beautyandconformity.blogspot.com/p/contact-maybe.html. I was pleased that I got at least one negative comment. It gave me an idea what the worst people would be thinking. 

Do you think alternative people are unnatural? How is dying your hair purple any more unnatural than dying your hair blonde? How is piercing your face any more unnatural than piercing your ears or your belly-button? Babies are born with the inherent ability to tell what is natural and unnatural? No. If a baby were brought up in a home where everyone had "a gazillion holes in their faces", it would think nothing of their appearances. Don't be silly. 

I guess, though, that there are always going to be people who think like that. There isn't any answer really, and there isn't really a conclusion either.

As long as there are people, there will always be conformity, and as long as there is conformity, there will always be a clearly defined "IS" and a clearly defined "ISN'T". So as long as there are people that are and people that are not, there will always be "beautiful" and there will always be "ugly". 

That is all.

SIX (or, Yeah, my Deep Etching Sucks)

So the final day of this experiment is finally over - I'm excited to be back to my normal self. I went to church last night looking like this, which spark a perfect set of reactions.

As soon as I walked in I was greeted with a chorus of "You look so pretty!"s, and "Oh my gosh!"s. My friends from church don't know me, or nonconformity, as well as my school and other various location friends, so they were a perfect tester group for reactions, because they could judge my appearance without linking it to my character.

1) A well-meaning generic-aged woman told me "You look glamorous tonight!" and when I began explaining it was for art and that it wasn't permanent she nodded enthusiastically and drowned my words with a few "Lovely! You look lovely!"s.

2) A friend of mine said that although I was wearing a lot of make-up, it looked very pretty, and that I should do it more often.

3) Someone else said they prefer this girly look on me that my usual look, and definitely preferred it to my look last week.

4) When asked what my person thought about my look, he replied, "It's not that I don't like the girly-girl, but I'd rather have the Courtney girl". Which is nice, but also irrelevant.

Now it's time to kick back and get this documentary done. This won't be my last post, though, so stay tuned (that sounded terribly cliche, didn't it?).

FIVE

It's almost the end of this tiring week, and I spent my second to last day at yet another semi-cultured location - the I <3 Market. It is a lovely place, but it seems to have evolved into one very large ridiculously expensive vintage clothing store. I saw a pair of brothel creepers I would've sold my soul for, but they too were ridiculously expensive.

Again, I recieved somewhat strange and resentful looks from the cultured crowd. Another interesting observation: alternative males pay little to no attention to mainstream girls, which is expected but still a little irritating.

I can't wait to get out of these fussy clothes. And to feel my face again once all this dreaded foundation is eradicated.

THREE

This is definitely a new experience for me. I'm really not used to dressing like this at all. I'm a bit of a hipster, usually, but mostly I just dress in a way that makes me feel happy. I usually take about 20 minutes to get ready and do my hair and make-up, at the most, but these days, getting ready to go out takes about an hour and a half, which is valuable time that could be spent reading or watching anime. I've also never left the house with a full face of make-up on before. I'm wearing so much foundation that I'm scared my face will crack if I smile too widely, and I'm wearing glitter on my lips. And my eyes. There's even glitter in my moisturizer.

I went to Pavilion today, which I thought would be embarrassing because I would see a lot of people I know there, but it turned out to be quite uneventful, except for a few wayward looks from the occasional boy and plenty of dirty looks from other girls. A particularly dirty look from a lovely rebel in black lipstick, ripped tights and an obscure band t-shirt.

As soon as I stepped out the car, pink lipstick and lip gloss applied, I ran into a group of boys smoking outside the skate park, which made me want to run away and hide but I gritted my teeth and made my way through. I’m finding it harder each day to go out in public like this.

It's not so much the actual look as it is the feeling that I'm misrepresenting myself. It just makes me feel like a fake. I hate feeling fake.

                             

TWO

The beach again for day two. Today was kinda fun though, as I replaced my false nails with pink nailpolish and high heels with tommy takkies. I also, however, replaced my normal one-piece with a Billabong bikini. Let it be noted that until this day I had never worn a bikini in my life.

I must have really looked the part, with my top knot, pink headband, pink nails and bikini, tanning and fiddling on "my" Blackberry.

Attention today was minimal, understandably, as I blended in fairly well. They seem to suspect nothing. I noticed a slight increase in male looks. Females, however, are still giving me dirty looks. I think I very much prefer the amusement and disgust of last week than these belittling, sizing-up glances I've been getting all day. I'd rather be too alien for them to relate to than almost-just-but-not-really-the-prettiest.

Another friend I saw today, however, reacted with a mix of shock and horror. "It just keeps  getting worse," she said, as I pulled a pink floral towel and a pink Blackberry cover out of my bag. My person begrudging slathered me with sun block. And agreed to be seen with me. The only part he liked was the bikini.

   

ONE

Today was my first day in my mainstream look. I tried to dye my hair blonde yesterday but my natural colour is too dark so it just came out kind of yellow-ish at the roots. I also put on some fake nails this morning and then picked them off, one by one, because false nails are the most hideous things in the universe and are an invention of Satan.

I went to The Collective, Ike's Bookshop, a little second-hand place called Nuggets and Gems and Wakaberry today with a friend, who laughed at me for approximately five minutes before she recovered herself and said "you look irritating". My family are also cooing over me at every opportunity telling me how pretty I look. I've been getting some attention today, obviously not as much as last week, but it's still there. Funny enough, I'm still getting mostly dirty looks from girls, and of course, a lot more male attention. A girl had to smack her boyfriend today when he looked at me as I walked past.

Also, I have stumbled upon a theory. I think the reason "preppy", or girly girls are always so irritable and catty is because when you're wearing the Pretty Disguise, everything is irritating.

- The wind irritates you because it messes your hair that you've spent at least half an hour washing, blow drying, straightening and styling.

- Your hair irritates you because it keeps getting caught in your lip gloss.

- Your lip gloss irritates you because you have to re-apply it every time you eat or drink.

- Food irritates you because it can possibly get on your carefully chosen clothes.

- Your clothes irritate you because you have to constantly worry that they are in place, that they are not too tight, that your barely-there skirt is not riding up.

- Your feet irritate you because they've been painfully shoved into high heels.

- Your bangles irritate you because of that stupid sound they're constantly making.

No wonder those girls always look so grumpy.



SIX

Today was the last day of alternative experiment, sadly. I think I should feel relieved, but when I think about the coming week... not so much. It was a fairly subdued look today, sans piercings (because I finally lost them) and with punk influences again, also a little bit of metal fashion with the waistcoat featuring some of my favourite band (Nirvana, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Ramones) badges.

I went on a family fishing expedition with my person's family, and bought some socks (see their cameo in the pictures). I also had to touch a dead baby squid.

Also, I went to church with this look. It didn't provide much result, probably because they're used to me wearing strange clothing. I'd love to be able to say this is my band, but it's actually just the worship band I sing with occasionally.

FIVE

Day Five is my second to last day of alternative fashion, and one of the best. It was most certainly goth, and luckily everyone I spoke to was able to identify that.

I wasn't that out of place though, in the midst of a friend's Mad Hatter's Tea Party. I spent the day speaking to smart and/or interesting people, and interviewed most of them, as well as other miscellaneous park-goers in Botanical Gardens.

1) A little girl told me that if she had to give me a rating out of ten, she would give me a five.

2) A random hipster (beer in hand) commented that parts of me were attractive but others were not. He said if I was trying to go for a sexy look I shouldn't wear the boots that I was, and should try to go for more mainstream make-up.

3) Something one of my friends said, which I really liked, though it is sad, is

"Beauty doesn't really exist anymore. It's all conformity. And even when you are beautiful, you still aren't really beautiful enough."



THREE

It is day three, and I tried out something grunge today. I had to pitch my design concept to a boardroom of scary Vega invigilators today for a design competition I'm taking part in, and while at first I was nervous about appearing in front of them like this, expecting someone even to ask me to take out my peircings, they were surprisingly unfazed. One even commented, "Oh, she's an artist, leave her". A photographer did, however, make me pose for pictures with the product I had designed. If I win anything or get put in promotional flyers it'll be with metal in my face.

I met up with some relatives who haven't seen me in years, and who appeared shocked when they saw me. Once I explained my art project to them, they were incredibly relieved.

Two boys of generic appearance and adolescent age found me apparently fascinating. One began approaching me but thought better of it, making a vomiting motion to his friend when he thought I wasn't looking.

I found a book called "Barbie be my Stylist!"... No wonder our youth is in the state it is

TWO

Day two and it's the beach today!

It wasn't as fun as yesterday, mostly because my look today was sort of frumpier than yesterday's one, and I suppose in the presence of the beautifully tanned bodies exhibited in barely-there clothing, it isn't difficult to feel frumpy.

I noticed something curious about the reactions of the different sexes of my age group. While girls express mainly shock, amusement or disgust, boys have only two: total apathy (I think this might be because I don't look like enough of a girl for them to pay me any attention) or curious interest (I think this is because I'm just something different and they don't have to imagine dressing like me).

What was different about today was that I actually spoke to people directly about what they thought of me, which was rather fun.

1) "Evil" was an adjective used three times by seperate people.

2) Two thirteen-year-old boys thought I looked very cool, and commented that I look like I'm "going to a rock concert, you know, like, heavy metal".

3) A little girl in a pink dress refused to speak to me, hiding behind her mother even after I tried to coax her out.

4) Someone said I looked "freaky" and "belong in Hallowene". The same person said he's often seen "goth-looking" people come out of a club near Davenport, and reccomended I go there, rather than the beach.
5) "It's very different. It looks cool, but... I wouldn't dress like that".

ONE

                     

   

                                                                                          
Today was my first official day in my alternative gear, my attempt at punk, and it's been the most fun I've had in a long time. The responses were varied, but mostly amusing.
Accompanied by a friend and my camera, I exhibited my appearance at Gateway, a popular shopping centre in Durban.
1) A little black boy with a big bald head and huge eyes stood in the passage for about 2 minutes to stare at me until his mother pulled him away.

2) A woman pulled her hand-bag closer to her body as I walked past.
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3) A tentative up and down look and finally an approving smile from an alternative-looking boy.

4) Various giggles from various primped-up tweenies and 'fashonistas'.

5) "That girl has holes in her stockings!" from a concerned old lady.

6) "Woah!" from a random preppy couple.

7) I think almost everyone who saw me today at least gave me a second of their attention. Eventually I started pulling faces at them.

8) I asked a little girl I know if she liked my peircings and she said "No, they didn't look nice. I like you when you look normal. Not when you have peircings and things in your face". Harsh, but refreshingly honest.

Ice cream time is all the time

Oh, and we got stopped by the mall popo! I was stopped and questioned by no less than three "mall cops", asking why I was taking videos in the centre. However, I do believe they might have been slightly less aggressive if I looked more acceptable. This is a permit I had to go all the way to the secret management floor to get.

So what am I actually doing?

Preliminary alternative prototype

An issue that's affected me a lot personally since the realisation of my identity is the issue of conformity, not just applied to beauty, but to every aspect of a teenager's life. Music, school work, literature, general behaviour, I find myself in the frame of mind rather than the forced behavioural pattern of nonconformity.

So after thinking about what I actually want to do for my final art project, I decided, with inspiration from my friends, school, and other places, to film a documentary delving into the mindset of beauty only being a form of conformity.
In Layman's terms, it's the idea that I find prevelant among teenage girls that you have to look like everyone else in order to look beautiful.

So this is the line-up:

1) I've filmed some interviews with people whose opinions I find interesting, intelligent or relevant to this project

2) This week I am in process of dressing and changing my appearance to be as socially divergant and alternative as possible. While in this process, I will be filming people's reactions and conducting a series of 'vox pops' (word-on-the-street interviews)

3) The following week I will be dressing and changing my appearance to the opposite - conformist beauty applicable to my age and social group to the extreme. I will be following embarassing trends and trying to 'fit in with the people'. I will also film reactions at this time.

4) Finally, all these components will be combined into the final product of a video documentary.

Wish me luck!