This is definitely a new experience for me. I'm really not used to dressing like this at all. I'm a bit of a hipster, usually, but mostly I just dress in a way that makes me feel happy. I usually take about 20 minutes to get ready and do my hair and make-up, at the most, but these days, getting ready to go out takes about an hour and a half, which is valuable time that could be spent reading or watching anime. I've also never left the house with a full face of make-up on before. I'm wearing so much foundation that I'm scared my face will crack if I smile too widely, and I'm wearing glitter on my lips. And my eyes. There's even glitter in my moisturizer.
I went to Pavilion today, which I thought would be embarrassing because I would see a lot of people I know there, but it turned out to be quite uneventful, except for a few wayward looks from the occasional boy and plenty of dirty looks from other girls. A particularly dirty look from a lovely rebel in black lipstick, ripped tights and an obscure band t-shirt.
As soon as I stepped out the car, pink lipstick and lip gloss applied, I ran into a group of boys smoking outside the skate park, which made me want to run away and hide but I gritted my teeth and made my way through. I’m finding it harder each day to go out in public like this.
It's not so much the actual look as it is the feeling that I'm misrepresenting myself. It just makes me feel like a fake. I hate feeling fake.
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