Play-Play

So last term's theme was "Play", and it seems my mind is still stuck on the beauty and conformity idea. After doing a photo shoot with my younger sister again (who, mind you, was 12 years old at the time) I edited her photos and turned one into a magazine cover and the other into a magazine spread. My tonal drawing was also based on a photo of her. 

This piece was more focused on 'fake' girls, rather than mainstream girls. 

SIX (or, Yeah, my Deep Etching Sucks)

So the final day of this experiment is finally over - I'm excited to be back to my normal self. I went to church last night looking like this, which spark a perfect set of reactions.

As soon as I walked in I was greeted with a chorus of "You look so pretty!"s, and "Oh my gosh!"s. My friends from church don't know me, or nonconformity, as well as my school and other various location friends, so they were a perfect tester group for reactions, because they could judge my appearance without linking it to my character.

1) A well-meaning generic-aged woman told me "You look glamorous tonight!" and when I began explaining it was for art and that it wasn't permanent she nodded enthusiastically and drowned my words with a few "Lovely! You look lovely!"s.

2) A friend of mine said that although I was wearing a lot of make-up, it looked very pretty, and that I should do it more often.

3) Someone else said they prefer this girly look on me that my usual look, and definitely preferred it to my look last week.

4) When asked what my person thought about my look, he replied, "It's not that I don't like the girly-girl, but I'd rather have the Courtney girl". Which is nice, but also irrelevant.

Now it's time to kick back and get this documentary done. This won't be my last post, though, so stay tuned (that sounded terribly cliche, didn't it?).

FIVE

It's almost the end of this tiring week, and I spent my second to last day at yet another semi-cultured location - the I <3 Market. It is a lovely place, but it seems to have evolved into one very large ridiculously expensive vintage clothing store. I saw a pair of brothel creepers I would've sold my soul for, but they too were ridiculously expensive.

Again, I recieved somewhat strange and resentful looks from the cultured crowd. Another interesting observation: alternative males pay little to no attention to mainstream girls, which is expected but still a little irritating.

I can't wait to get out of these fussy clothes. And to feel my face again once all this dreaded foundation is eradicated.

FOUR

I'm getting used to this, I guess. It doesn't make it any less strange when I go to
cultured, artsy places like The Factory Cafe at Colombo Fine Beverages Co. for a photographic art exhibition and some amazing coffee. I also went to a second-hand clothing, bookshop and White Elephant store, where I found the most amazing vintage dresses and a few beautiful cups and saucers.

Going to alternative places dressed mainstream feels worse than going to mainstream places dressed alternative. I believe your appearance can be something of a billboard that broadcasts to people your interests or beliefs. Not always, but the potential's there. I've noticed alternative people make use of that quite often. So of course, being in a place where I would like to use my appearance to broadcast my alternative interests to people who hopefully share those interests, it was embarassing to broadcast, instead, conformity and a love for the mainstream. Or perhaps not something that extreme, but I do think I looked a bit boring, and being in a place full of people who look interesting, it made me feel lame.
I'll say this because I've been on the other side of the prejudice, but alternative people seem to either express interest or dislike for people who look like I do this week. (These are the comments I've imagined in my head) "What are you doing at an art exhibition? Mainstream girls can't be interested in art." "Why are you buying a vintage dress? It's not like you'd ever wear it."

For anyone interested, Colombo Fine Beverages Co. is on Gale Street and is one of the most amazing coffee places you will ever come across. Try them. I dare you.

THREE

This is definitely a new experience for me. I'm really not used to dressing like this at all. I'm a bit of a hipster, usually, but mostly I just dress in a way that makes me feel happy. I usually take about 20 minutes to get ready and do my hair and make-up, at the most, but these days, getting ready to go out takes about an hour and a half, which is valuable time that could be spent reading or watching anime. I've also never left the house with a full face of make-up on before. I'm wearing so much foundation that I'm scared my face will crack if I smile too widely, and I'm wearing glitter on my lips. And my eyes. There's even glitter in my moisturizer.

I went to Pavilion today, which I thought would be embarrassing because I would see a lot of people I know there, but it turned out to be quite uneventful, except for a few wayward looks from the occasional boy and plenty of dirty looks from other girls. A particularly dirty look from a lovely rebel in black lipstick, ripped tights and an obscure band t-shirt.

As soon as I stepped out the car, pink lipstick and lip gloss applied, I ran into a group of boys smoking outside the skate park, which made me want to run away and hide but I gritted my teeth and made my way through. I’m finding it harder each day to go out in public like this.

It's not so much the actual look as it is the feeling that I'm misrepresenting myself. It just makes me feel like a fake. I hate feeling fake.

                             

TWO

The beach again for day two. Today was kinda fun though, as I replaced my false nails with pink nailpolish and high heels with tommy takkies. I also, however, replaced my normal one-piece with a Billabong bikini. Let it be noted that until this day I had never worn a bikini in my life.

I must have really looked the part, with my top knot, pink headband, pink nails and bikini, tanning and fiddling on "my" Blackberry.

Attention today was minimal, understandably, as I blended in fairly well. They seem to suspect nothing. I noticed a slight increase in male looks. Females, however, are still giving me dirty looks. I think I very much prefer the amusement and disgust of last week than these belittling, sizing-up glances I've been getting all day. I'd rather be too alien for them to relate to than almost-just-but-not-really-the-prettiest.

Another friend I saw today, however, reacted with a mix of shock and horror. "It just keeps  getting worse," she said, as I pulled a pink floral towel and a pink Blackberry cover out of my bag. My person begrudging slathered me with sun block. And agreed to be seen with me. The only part he liked was the bikini.

   

ONE

Today was my first day in my mainstream look. I tried to dye my hair blonde yesterday but my natural colour is too dark so it just came out kind of yellow-ish at the roots. I also put on some fake nails this morning and then picked them off, one by one, because false nails are the most hideous things in the universe and are an invention of Satan.

I went to The Collective, Ike's Bookshop, a little second-hand place called Nuggets and Gems and Wakaberry today with a friend, who laughed at me for approximately five minutes before she recovered herself and said "you look irritating". My family are also cooing over me at every opportunity telling me how pretty I look. I've been getting some attention today, obviously not as much as last week, but it's still there. Funny enough, I'm still getting mostly dirty looks from girls, and of course, a lot more male attention. A girl had to smack her boyfriend today when he looked at me as I walked past.

Also, I have stumbled upon a theory. I think the reason "preppy", or girly girls are always so irritable and catty is because when you're wearing the Pretty Disguise, everything is irritating.

- The wind irritates you because it messes your hair that you've spent at least half an hour washing, blow drying, straightening and styling.

- Your hair irritates you because it keeps getting caught in your lip gloss.

- Your lip gloss irritates you because you have to re-apply it every time you eat or drink.

- Food irritates you because it can possibly get on your carefully chosen clothes.

- Your clothes irritate you because you have to constantly worry that they are in place, that they are not too tight, that your barely-there skirt is not riding up.

- Your feet irritate you because they've been painfully shoved into high heels.

- Your bangles irritate you because of that stupid sound they're constantly making.

No wonder those girls always look so grumpy.



Her



Say hello to the joys of compulsory drawings!

This one, who I like to think of as 'her', was done with oil pastels and a little bit of turps.
My original intention was to draw a perfect Barbie stereotype, but unfortunately, between my younger sister and my mom, our total of 7 Barbies and 1 Ken lay in pieces on the workshop table.

So then I made up some symbolism.
Her lack of arms represents how models and those involved in the fashion industry are only valued for their bodies and are, effectively, "armless", and her lack of head represents... well... lack of thinking (I guess).

Ironically enough, while I was carting 'her' around school with me, I recieved a number of comments.
Not on my drawing skills, but rather on the attractiveness of her legs.
"That lady has nice legs. I wish I had legs like that."
"But... she's a Barbie."
"Well, she has really nice legs."
"But... she has no arms or head..."
"But she has nice legs."

It is because of people who think like you that I am doing this project this term.