The Marilyn Delusion

Marilyn Monroe in all her contrived glory

I have decided to confess one of my festering pet peeves, at the peril of losing a few friends, and irritating a lot of teenage girls who think they have an idol: Black and white blockmounted pictures of Marilyn Monroe.

Let me clarify, I actually like Marilyn Monroe (or Norma Jean Mortensen, as she was unglamorously christened), I just don't like that people are hanging her on their walls. I like her because I think she made poignant and insightful comments on society and the nature of fame (she took a literature course at a California college, and was married to the author of The Crucible, so I refuse to believe she is an idiot), and because I will admit that I am fascinated by the charm that earned her fame and turned her into a posthumous household name, the charm that I detected after watching one of her movies and clips of her interviews and shows on the internet. I have sympathy for her because of the early death of her mother, the estrangement of her father, her claims of being raped, and her harsh upbringing in orphanages and foster homes.

I will admit that her contrivement deeply unsettles me, though. These are pictures from one of her first photoshoots.
                

Norma Jean Mortensen

Monroe's first photo shoot

            

This is what ticks me off: girls seem to like Marilyn Monroe for the sole reason that she was pretty. I have asked people many times why Monroe appeals to them. Answers have included: "I prefer her to some these movie stars we have today" "She was just beautiful" or "Um... I don't know. She looks vintage?". I believe if Monroe were our contemporary we would probably feel the same towards her as we do to Kim Kardashian, or Lindsay Lohan.

Monroe was addicted to drugs, and eventually died of an overdose. She was the stereotypical blonde, despite being a natural brunette. Her regrowth bleaching was impeccable (I will admit). Men fawned over her. She was Hollywood's sex symbol. She had no qualms about removing her clothes, and did many nude photo shoots. She helped pioneer the blonde "bimbo" stereotype that girls both despise and aspire to today. She was involved in several affairs (notably with president JFK and his brother), and was married three times. Toward the end of her career, her conduct on set became unproffessional. She forgot her lines, arrived late, and made life painful for everyone with her "diva" behaviour. She was unfortunately type-casted in the role of the beautiful blonde idiot. She slept around to get roles in movies.

She was by no means a role model. I like Marilyn Monroe.

It does not annoy me that people look up to her. What annoys me are their reasons why.

Dreams and other Oddities

So I theme for this term was "The Unconscious Mind: Dreams and Other Oddities". I had quite a lot of fun with this one (though of course not as much fun as last term), and learnt a few new tricks in Photoshop.

I'll be heading off tomorrow to traipse some thrift stores in search of appropriate frames, but for now, here are the pictures as is. 

They were inspired by a dream I had once where I woke up one morning and my family had spontaneously turned into animals. I guess, though, that they also represent peoples' unconscious animal instincts, as civil as we consider ourselves to be.

A) KZNSA Gallery

This gallery was established 108 years ago, and is now the premier contemporary art gallery in Durban, and the province. However, a lot of young people don't pay it much attention.

Recently, an exhibition was held by local Durban artist, alias "Skullboy", called You&Me: A Series of First Times (formerly called Cherry Poppin'). Last year, Skullboy collected people's accounts of how they lost their virginity by placing forms and drop boxes in bathrooms and clubs, targeting the alternative crowd most likely to frequent them. Then he made art about it. I thought it was pretty dang awesome.

Its purpose is described as such: "The aim of this exercise is two-fold. Firstly, to capture a glimpse into the reality of the state and practice of sex in our modern day society. Secondly, to create a healthy dialogue about sex in reality without the baggage of religion, media, television and moral decorum. Through the accounts of others and the re-telling of our own stories, we realise the similarities between us and our peers. Through this communal discussion, we destroy the unrealistic expectations of sex set by society and ourselves and strip such a significant event of any shame, pressure or sense of failure and accept the event for what it was, whether good or bad."

Here are some pictures from the opening (courtesy of KZNSA)

A closer look (click to enlarge)

 
               

Check out You&Me's tumblr page:  http://youandmeproject.tumblr.com/
And Skullboy's blog: http://houseofskullboy.tumblr.com

The Secret Guide to Alternative Durban

For a lot of young people in Durban, their scope of Durban mainly includes what advertisers want people to think Durban is like - sun, sea and surf, I guess. And recently I've gotten tired of people telling me "There's nothing cool to do in Durban anymore". 

So the purpose of these next few posts is to document a few of the more alternative places and things you can do in Durban - and hopefully expose an alternative underbelly of Durban that some people might never have known about before. I will attempt to (with help from some friends) document my favorite second-hand shops, book stores, flea markets, coffee shops, cafes, art galleries and music halls. 

N.B: the name of this post was stolen from something Zoetica Ebb is doing at Zoetica's Biorequiem 

Music you don't hear on the Radio

About a year or two back, I wrote an article for the school newspaper called "Music you don't hear on the Radio". I recently found it again, and laughed. It listed bands such as Florence and the Machine, Band of Skulls, and Muse.
             
I'm not sure if the obnoxious grade 9 version of me just didn't have any idea what alternative music was, or if the bands I listened to at that time really WEREN'T on the radio yet. I like to believe the latter. It makes me sound less lame.

Anyway, things have changed since then, and as the first post of my made-over blog, I present you with the revised version of Music you don't hear on the Radio, or Things I like Listening to, but East Coast Radio Doesn't.

1) I discovered The Sir Walrus Band by accident. Scarlet Hill, another amazing local band, was playing at a Durban hang-out called LIVE. I came for the main act, but fell in love with the opening one. Sir Walrus is one of the best instrumental bands I've ever heard. With the magnificent Sebastian Goldswain on guitar, Jonathan Judge on sax, Brian Stone on drums and Ruben Thomas on bass, they easily combine swing, groove, funk and rock. Find them on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/thesirwalrusband

The Sir Walrus Band

2) I also found the next band, 7th Son by accident, at another LIVE performance. I haven't really listened to enough of their music to form a proper judgment, but they too have a sax player, and a trumpet, which instantly brings up their coolness level. They also have a hell of a lot of energy, if the drummer is anything to go by - his shirt was off by the second song.

More photos of 7th Son can be found at http://www.facebook.com/#!/LiveTheVenue

3) Staying with the local theme, a friend made me a CD recently, and one of the best things on it was Mr Cat and the Jackal, who are described as "experimental acoustic folk". If you're into strange, these guys are for you. Look for "The Devil Always wants to Dance" and "The Rain came Pouring" if you're willing to give them a try.



Photo of Mr Cat and the Jackal found at http://onesheet.com/mrcatandthejackal/

4) The Shins are a four-peice American indie band, but they aren't extremely obscure anymore. In fact, since Kristen Stewart announced them as one of her favorites, they seem to have earned a place in the "Archetypal Indie" gallery. Nevertheless, their albums Wincing the Night Away and Chutes Too Narrow include some of my favourite indie music.

The Shins

5) These guys are a little old school, and by no means obscure, but they had to show up here because A) they are one of my favourite bands and B) besides Smells like Teen Spirit, I've never heard Nirvana on the radio. Made up of legends Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic. They exploded onto the Seattle scene in the 1990's and sparked the grunge revolution, but only released three albums before Cobain committed suicide in 1994.

Grunge legends Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic of Nirvana

Continuum

When I started with this blog, I didn't really expect much to come of it. 1000 page views (views have now reached almost 7000) was a far off dream I didn't even consider to be within my reach, but since this blog started the response has been overwhelming, not just from people that I know and my friends from Facebook, but strangers from overseas and people I've never met.

So I've decided, now that I find myself on this unexpected platform, that I will continue with this blog of mine. Not only with my art, but also with things I'm passionate about, namely conformity and fighting against it. 

The new subtitle, rather than being Beauty and Conformity, will now be Courage or Conformity, based on this lovely quote by Rollo May. 

"The opposition of courage in our society is not cowardice... It is conformity."

Becoming the Stereotype

It's finally over with, sadly and happily enough. I hope you enjoy it.


Please keep in mind that I am not a professional film maker, and this is my first attempt at anything like this. There will be flaws and there will be parts that can be better, but this is a result of passion and weeks of hard work, so please don't be too harsh on me. I know I have a long way to go. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIoDWLySCk

The Conclusion is that there is no Conclusion

I guess you could say this project started with a pair of boots. 

One day in Grade 9 I put my dad's old air force boots on for fun and then I pretty much never took them off. They became somewhat of a novelty.

People have borrowed them to look "alternative", to look cool, and to look like what society apparently doesn't find beautiful or feminine. Countless people in my art class have drawn them, some refusing to believe me when I say I actually wear them, and when I bring them to school, my teachers ask me if it's for drama class. 

People started saying things. "You can't wear boots like that with a pretty dress!" "I love your outfit, all you need now are a nice pair of pretty pumps." "You look like a mine-worker!". 

The second thing that inspired me to do this project was a comment made by someone I know. We were watching TV when a tattooed girl came on screen. "She could be so pretty! It's just the tattoos that ruin it...". And that got me thinking. 

The offending specimen

Danielle Colby-Cushman from American Pickers

I guess I don't really know what I think beauty is. All I know is that no-one should be considered any less beautiful because of dressing to please themselves. I don't believe the girl who decides to wear Doc Martens should be any less beautiful than the girl who wears heels, and I don't believe that looking different equals looking ugly. 

Someone said to me, during this project, that "having holes in your face and wearing creepy clothes is not beautiful. it has nothing to do with society's beliefs; it's not beautiful because it's unnatural. even little babies, who haven't had time to be shaped by society, cringe at the sight of people who wear creepy make-up and have a gazillion holes in their faces. they cringe (or cry) because those people look scary - not because they don't fit in with society" http://beautyandconformity.blogspot.com/p/contact-maybe.html. I was pleased that I got at least one negative comment. It gave me an idea what the worst people would be thinking. 

Do you think alternative people are unnatural? How is dying your hair purple any more unnatural than dying your hair blonde? How is piercing your face any more unnatural than piercing your ears or your belly-button? Babies are born with the inherent ability to tell what is natural and unnatural? No. If a baby were brought up in a home where everyone had "a gazillion holes in their faces", it would think nothing of their appearances. Don't be silly. 

I guess, though, that there are always going to be people who think like that. There isn't any answer really, and there isn't really a conclusion either.

As long as there are people, there will always be conformity, and as long as there is conformity, there will always be a clearly defined "IS" and a clearly defined "ISN'T". So as long as there are people that are and people that are not, there will always be "beautiful" and there will always be "ugly". 

That is all.

CD Cover

So I've just finished designing the cover of a little booklet-type thing I'll be making to present the disc my documentary is on to my art teacher, but it's after much grunting and shakings of the head. Enjoy.

SIX (or, Yeah, my Deep Etching Sucks)

So the final day of this experiment is finally over - I'm excited to be back to my normal self. I went to church last night looking like this, which spark a perfect set of reactions.

As soon as I walked in I was greeted with a chorus of "You look so pretty!"s, and "Oh my gosh!"s. My friends from church don't know me, or nonconformity, as well as my school and other various location friends, so they were a perfect tester group for reactions, because they could judge my appearance without linking it to my character.

1) A well-meaning generic-aged woman told me "You look glamorous tonight!" and when I began explaining it was for art and that it wasn't permanent she nodded enthusiastically and drowned my words with a few "Lovely! You look lovely!"s.

2) A friend of mine said that although I was wearing a lot of make-up, it looked very pretty, and that I should do it more often.

3) Someone else said they prefer this girly look on me that my usual look, and definitely preferred it to my look last week.

4) When asked what my person thought about my look, he replied, "It's not that I don't like the girly-girl, but I'd rather have the Courtney girl". Which is nice, but also irrelevant.

Now it's time to kick back and get this documentary done. This won't be my last post, though, so stay tuned (that sounded terribly cliche, didn't it?).

FIVE

It's almost the end of this tiring week, and I spent my second to last day at yet another semi-cultured location - the I <3 Market. It is a lovely place, but it seems to have evolved into one very large ridiculously expensive vintage clothing store. I saw a pair of brothel creepers I would've sold my soul for, but they too were ridiculously expensive.

Again, I recieved somewhat strange and resentful looks from the cultured crowd. Another interesting observation: alternative males pay little to no attention to mainstream girls, which is expected but still a little irritating.

I can't wait to get out of these fussy clothes. And to feel my face again once all this dreaded foundation is eradicated.

Uninteresting Musings

I have noticed something, while undertaking this project... It is an opinion I haven't quite solidified in my head, but I'll try to explain it in pieces.

In the beginning, while I was planning everything out in my head, I had expected this week to be incredibly painful. It has been painful, it has been embarassing, and it has been tiring, but it hasn't been anything as bad as what I had imagined.

Today, I'm afraid I cheated a bit. After going to those second hand shops and that art exhibition, I came home, put on a vintage dress, and went to a braai. On the way there, I stopped off at a shop to buy meat and other assorted condiments, and I of course passed the paths of a number of people, many of them young girls.

Suddenly the difference between them and I was so much more obvious to me than it had been this week, or even last week, and I suddenly realized a flaw in my plan.

Appearances are things, essentially. Your changeable, malleable, perennial appearance, like the clothes and make-up you wear, how you do your hair, whether you choose to tan or not, are peices of a mask (I know that sounds melodramatic, but bear with me) you put together, and this is the face you choose to show to the outside world. Yes, it is something you can change, and it is something you can turn on and off, but it is also a part of you, and your identity that is linked to you, even if only slightly.

The reason I felt the difference so much more strongly tonight rather than on any of the other days of my experiment was because tonight, I was wearing my identity, and that highlighted all the more strongly theirs. In my various disguises, I have felt disconnected from my appearance. It's a sign board held away from my body, only for the benefit of society to see, nothing I've worn has really felt like a part of me.

Until tonight.

Maybe people's reactions have been what they have been because they are wearing their identities. Maybe it's a good thing I've been wearing disguises and not my identity. I think if I had been wearing my identity, and asking people what they thought of me like that, I wouldn't have survived the judgements I've been getting.

It's just a make-shift thought.

Make of it what you will.

FOUR

I'm getting used to this, I guess. It doesn't make it any less strange when I go to
cultured, artsy places like The Factory Cafe at Colombo Fine Beverages Co. for a photographic art exhibition and some amazing coffee. I also went to a second-hand clothing, bookshop and White Elephant store, where I found the most amazing vintage dresses and a few beautiful cups and saucers.

Going to alternative places dressed mainstream feels worse than going to mainstream places dressed alternative. I believe your appearance can be something of a billboard that broadcasts to people your interests or beliefs. Not always, but the potential's there. I've noticed alternative people make use of that quite often. So of course, being in a place where I would like to use my appearance to broadcast my alternative interests to people who hopefully share those interests, it was embarassing to broadcast, instead, conformity and a love for the mainstream. Or perhaps not something that extreme, but I do think I looked a bit boring, and being in a place full of people who look interesting, it made me feel lame.
I'll say this because I've been on the other side of the prejudice, but alternative people seem to either express interest or dislike for people who look like I do this week. (These are the comments I've imagined in my head) "What are you doing at an art exhibition? Mainstream girls can't be interested in art." "Why are you buying a vintage dress? It's not like you'd ever wear it."

For anyone interested, Colombo Fine Beverages Co. is on Gale Street and is one of the most amazing coffee places you will ever come across. Try them. I dare you.

THREE

This is definitely a new experience for me. I'm really not used to dressing like this at all. I'm a bit of a hipster, usually, but mostly I just dress in a way that makes me feel happy. I usually take about 20 minutes to get ready and do my hair and make-up, at the most, but these days, getting ready to go out takes about an hour and a half, which is valuable time that could be spent reading or watching anime. I've also never left the house with a full face of make-up on before. I'm wearing so much foundation that I'm scared my face will crack if I smile too widely, and I'm wearing glitter on my lips. And my eyes. There's even glitter in my moisturizer.

I went to Pavilion today, which I thought would be embarrassing because I would see a lot of people I know there, but it turned out to be quite uneventful, except for a few wayward looks from the occasional boy and plenty of dirty looks from other girls. A particularly dirty look from a lovely rebel in black lipstick, ripped tights and an obscure band t-shirt.

As soon as I stepped out the car, pink lipstick and lip gloss applied, I ran into a group of boys smoking outside the skate park, which made me want to run away and hide but I gritted my teeth and made my way through. I’m finding it harder each day to go out in public like this.

It's not so much the actual look as it is the feeling that I'm misrepresenting myself. It just makes me feel like a fake. I hate feeling fake.

                             

TWO

The beach again for day two. Today was kinda fun though, as I replaced my false nails with pink nailpolish and high heels with tommy takkies. I also, however, replaced my normal one-piece with a Billabong bikini. Let it be noted that until this day I had never worn a bikini in my life.

I must have really looked the part, with my top knot, pink headband, pink nails and bikini, tanning and fiddling on "my" Blackberry.

Attention today was minimal, understandably, as I blended in fairly well. They seem to suspect nothing. I noticed a slight increase in male looks. Females, however, are still giving me dirty looks. I think I very much prefer the amusement and disgust of last week than these belittling, sizing-up glances I've been getting all day. I'd rather be too alien for them to relate to than almost-just-but-not-really-the-prettiest.

Another friend I saw today, however, reacted with a mix of shock and horror. "It just keeps  getting worse," she said, as I pulled a pink floral towel and a pink Blackberry cover out of my bag. My person begrudging slathered me with sun block. And agreed to be seen with me. The only part he liked was the bikini.